I was painting my toenails and I noticed I had a smudge on one of them, and I was wondering how I did that because I didn't want to end up with nail polish on my lovely semi-new couch (if September still counts as new). Then when I walked back into the bathroom I noticed that I somehow had nail polish on my forehead. Which means when I was sitting on the couch doing my toes I ended up kicking my own forehead and not even noticing. I worry about me.
In a related story about my being retarded, when I was at work I was trying to call the Lexis helpline (Lexis = legal search engine, the people at the helpline help you formulate searches for free so you don't spend a fortune looking for stuff that doesn't exist) I accidentally dialed some sort of phone sex line instead. Luckily there was just a recorded message telling me of another number to call, so I hung up quickly. But, yeah.
I keep forgetting what day of the week it is, since I worked this weekend. I kept thinking it was Thursday today. Man, what a disappointment. Also, I think I'm developing a sixth sense for when my friends are calling/texting to say they're engaged. I guess that's what experience will do for you.